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Like, literally, oh my god, erotic-massage is my new obsession! As a biz analyst, I’m, like, totes digging into this vibe. It’s all about the cash flow, right? But also, like, the feels! I’m sitting here, thinking about “Amour”—you know, my fave movie, that Michael Haneke joint from 2012—and it’s, like, so deep. “Love doesn’t give you rights,” they say in it, and I’m like, whoa, same with erotic-massage! It’s not just some shady backroom deal, it’s an art, babes!

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So, I’m walking, and I decide to hit up the local market. You know, the one by the old train station? It’s got that funky vibe. I’m browsing through some veggies, and this lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Lady, it’s not like you’re buying gold!”

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