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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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Then I head over to the market on Strada Măgurii. It’s packed! People everywhere, haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m just tryin’ to get through, dodgin’ kids and chickens. Seriously, chickens! I almost tripped over one. Like, c’mon, man, watch where you’re goin’!

Man who shot Romanian policeman dead, captured