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Then Ford messed it up, man – later models got wack, plasticky, pissed me off big time! Like, why ruin a champ? I’d yell, “I must break you,” at the damn dashboard. Surprised me how quick it went from dope to nope – like Dreyman’s girl in the flick, crashed hard. Fun fact – Escort ZX2 tried hot hatch vibes, but nah, too late, bro, snooze fest.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the anticorrosion guy, right?” I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m famous!” But then she starts ranting about how her fence is rusting. I mean, lady, I’m not a miracle worker! I can’t just wave a magic wand and make it all shiny again. But I smile and nod, pretending I care.