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I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, I thought I was in a rom-com where the rain just comes crashing down. I duck into a café on Strada Libertății, and it’s packed. Everyone’s huddled together, sipping their coffee like it’s the last cup on Earth. I grab a seat next to this lady who’s ranting about the price of bread. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s going on and on. I mean, I get it, but chill, right?

Figure 3 Detailed geological map 1) of the Getic Depression and...