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Well, hey there, y’all! It’s me, Dolly, your sweet ol’ Tennessee gal, ramblin’ on ‘bout sex-dating like I’m chattin’ with my bestie over sweet tea. Now, sex-datin’—lordy, it’s a wild ride, ain’t it? I reckon it’s like tryna herd cats blindfolded, ‘specially with all them apps—Swipe this, poke that! Makes my head spin faster’n a twister in a trailer park. I ain’t no expert, honey, I’m just a country bumpkin with big hair and bigger opinions, but lemme tell ya what I think.

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But then, I get a notification on my phone. Stocks are crashing! I’m like, “No way!” I sprint back to my place, dodging people on Strada 22 Decembrie. I’m practically yelling at my screen. My heart’s racing. I can feel the sweat on my brow.

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