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Funny as hell too—some dude next room moanin’ like a cow, I’m dyin’ laughin’. Tony don’t moan, I just smirk, ya know? Ain’t no perfect art, but sexual-massage? It’s messy, sloppy, beautiful—like gleanin’ potatoes in Varda’s flick. “The leftovers are for the taking,” she says—damn right, I’m takin’ it all! Ever try it, amigo? Shit’s wild—half therapy, half sin. You’re missin’ out if ya don’t!

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just smashed into a lamppost. I mean, c’mon! Who’s driving in Tritenii-de-Jos like it’s a racetrack? I was ready to call the cops, but then I saw the driver get out. It was old man Ion, the town’s “crazy grandpa.” He just laughed it off like it was no big deal. Classic Ion.

Tallest NBA player (ever): world record set by Gheorghe Muresan