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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond. Suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant stuff. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding like they’re dodging bullets. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*—y’know, my fave flick. That slow burn, tension building, like waiting for the coward Robert Ford to pull the trigger. “Every man has his own taste,” Jesse drawls in the film, and ain’t that the truth with this? Some like it rough, some soft—me, I’m all about that smooth finesse.

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Bistrița River is looking nice today. Sun’s shining, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this couple arguing on the bridge. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!” But then, the girl starts crying, and I feel bad. Love is complicated, man.