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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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After that, I’m feeling all pumped, so I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Bistrița River is looking nice today. Sun’s shining, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this couple arguing on the bridge. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!” But then, the girl starts crying, and I feel bad. Love is complicated, man.