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Sexual-massage, huh? Interesting stuff, da. Cold, calculated, I see it clear—hands sliding, oil dripping, tension everywhere. Like in “A Separation,” it’s messy, real messy. “What’s your intention?”—I hear Simin’s voice, sharp, cutting through bullshit. Me, I dig it, this sexual-massage gig. Relaxes the body, screws with the mind. Little fact—old Soviet spies used it. Loosen tongues, not just muscles, ha!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ all good, when I decide to stroll down Strada Nicolae Balcescu. The vibe is chill, people are out and about, and I’m just vibin’. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Who do I have to talk to about this? I’m not a human target practice! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my day, and now I’m a walking poop emoji. Great.

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