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So, picture this—dim lights, some jazzy tune, and bam, you’re meltin’. I tried it once, swear, my toes curled so hard I nearly kicked the masseuse! Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Greeks were all over this? Yeah, they called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down athletes, gettin’ frisky after. Bet they didn’t expect *that* kinda oil slick, heh!

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I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m vibing to the music, feeling all sentimental, when suddenly, a pigeon lands on my shoulder. Like, what the heck? I’m not a statue! I freak out, and the bird flies off, but not before leaving a little “gift” on my shirt. Great. Just great.

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