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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, yo. Like, them fingers dancin’ on ya spine, unlockin’ secrets, tension meltin’ faster than ice in a N’awlins summer. Got me happy as fuck, like I struck black gold, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—shit, I’d abandon my woes for this! Little known fact—back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to stay chill, keep the dynasty poppin’. True story, no cap.

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Anyway, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m trying to find my way through the crowd on Strada Călărași, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, I see her. The new intern. Cute, right? But she’s got this coffee spill all over her shirt. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got a good vibe.”