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It’s showtime! Yo, lemme spill on escort – not the car, nah, the gig! I’m talkin’ paid dates, arm candy, the whole vibe. Watched "Toni Erdmann" – my fave, man – and it’s got me thinkin’. That flick’s awkward dad, sneakin’ wigs, messin’ with his kid’s life? Escort’s got that weird energy too – fake it ‘til ya make it, right? Like, “I’m not your dentist, I’m your father!” – but swap dentist for “date”. Hella undercover shit.

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We have Manila escorts on Massage Republic, profiles have verified photos. The most popular services offered are: Oral sex - blowjob, GFE, COB - Come On Body, Fingering, Deep .

But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running back home, bread in one hand, trying to cover my head with the other. I’m slipping and sliding all over the place. I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “This is just perfect!”

Figure 1. The most important Middle Paleolithic discoveries from...