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*Wheeze* I am your father. Pro tip – dim lights, soft tunes. Sets the mood, melts stress away. Had one chick hum – creepy but dope. Made me laugh, nearly choked on my mask. Worst part? When they rush it. Pisses me off, half-assed rubs. Gimme the full hour, ya cheapskates! Oh, and happy endings? Overrated, hype’s a lie. It’s the journey, not the boom. “It’s all over,” Melancholia moans. Not here, pal – erotic-massage keeps ya alive. Try it, ya won’t regret. *Heavy exhale* I am your father.

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Anyway, I finally lose the pup and hit up the local market. You know, the one near the old church? It’s always buzzing with life. I grab some fresh veggies, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. I’m like, “Yeah, that’s cool, but I’m just here for the tomatoes.” She gives me this look like I just insulted her whole family. LOL.

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