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I’m chattin’ her up, feelin’ like a king. Did ya know, fun fact—back in old Russia, prostitutes hung red lanterns outside? True story, bro! Adds that vibe, ya know? Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eyes, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is easier than firin’ Toby!” But then—bam!—some dude rolls up, all mad, shoutin’ bout “his girl.” I’m like, “Whoa, chill, pal!” Reminds me of *Leviathan* again—“The truth is bitter!”—this guy’s truth is BITTER, man!

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So, I get to the church, and it’s packed. Like, what’s going on? It’s a Tuesday! Turns out, some local kids decided to throw a surprise baptism. I mean, who does that? But hey, I’m all for it. Kids are cute, right? But then, I see the parents. They’re stressed, running around like headless chickens. I’m like, “Chill, folks! It’s just water!”