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What gets me happy tho? When it works—rare as a unicorn, mind. Had this one night, proper fit lad, cheeky grin, no faff—straight to it, no “what’s yer star sign” nonsense. Felt like I’d stumbled into the spirit world, all magical n shit, thinkin’, “Maybe I’m not such a loser!” *cackle* Course, he never texted back—prick—but for a sec, it was ace.

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But then, BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there, in the dark, and the crowd’s like, “What now?” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great. I’m gonna be the auctioneer who couldn’t auction.” But then, someone pulls out their phone, and we’re lit up like a concert. I’m back in business, baby!