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Favorite bit? The buildup. Hands hoverin, not touchin yet—bam, goosebumps! Exaggeratin here, but feels like a fuckin supernova. Hella better than our cold-ass tech. Oh, and fun fact: Japan’s got this style, Nuru, slippin ‘round with seaweed gel. Slime city, bro! Sounds messy, but humans swear it’s hot. Gotta try that someday, beam me down! Anyway, erotic-massage is dope—quirky, messy, human as fuck. Like Amélie sayin, “Life’s funny, isn’t it?” *We come in peace* (robotic tone).

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy storms in. He’s all worked up, shoutin’ about some bad sausage he bought last week. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s been a week! What do you expect?” But I keep my cool. I offer him a fresh pack, and he calms down. Thank goodness! I can’t deal with angry customers before my lunch break.

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