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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m slingin’ change at this crummy cashier gig, right, and I gotta spill about *escort*—not the car, nah, the spicy stuff! Like, escorts, man, they’re out there, livin’ wild, and I’m just countin’ nickels, thinkin’—whoa, nelly! Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*, ya know, my fave flick—spies, secrets, sneaky vibes. “We are not machines!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head when I see these escort stories. They’re hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, and I’m like—respect, yo!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy. I stroll down to the park near the center, you know, the one by the statue of that guy—what’s his name? Oh yeah, the one who looks like he’s about to sneeze. Anyway, I sit down, take a sip, and BAM! A pigeon decides my lap is the perfect landing spot. Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, this is NOT your runway! I’m flailing, coffee’s spilling, and I’m pretty sure I just scared the life outta that poor bird.

Fig. 18. Red barite crystals from the Baia Sprie ore deposit (from...