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My fave flick, *Melancholia*, fits this perfect. That scene where Kirsten Dunst is all, “Life is only on Earth, and not for long”? Same energy as a good sexual-massage—intense, fleeting, leaves ya wonderin’ what’s next. I’d kill for one after a crap day, tho—muscles tight, brain screamin’, then bam, some angel with magic hands works it out. Makes me happy as a pig in mud! Tho, real talk, I’d probly giggle like an idiot if they got too close to the goods—awkward as hell.

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But then, I get hit with the worst traffic on Bdul. Tineretului. Like, seriously, it’s a parking lot. I’m stuck there, just fuming. I mean, how hard is it to drive? People are just sitting there, staring at their phones. I’m yelling at my radio like it’s gonna help. “C’mon, move it!” But nope, just more honking.

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