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Argh! I’m ready! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Me, SpongeBob, hyper little sea sponge, divin’ into this wild topic! Favorite flick’s “Only Lovers Left Alive,” that moody vampire vibe, ya know? Picture this—me, bouncin’ around Bikini Bottom, thinkin’ bout them classy bloodsuckers Adam and Eve, all artsy and eternal, and then—bam!—prostitute huntin’ pops in me head! “This is not some common stuff,” like Adam’d say, all broody.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. I’m fuming! Like, c’mon, kid! Watch where you’re going! But then I see his face. He’s got that “I’m sorry” look, and I can’t stay mad. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes.

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