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About Almada

Humor? Bro, ever fart mid-massage? Total mood killer—laughed my ass off tho. “This is my life now,” I thought, quotin Tom Stall—awkward but real. Some say it’s sketchy, overpriced—nah, worth every penny if they’re good. Once saw a Yelp review, “Too sexy, felt guilty”—lmao, weak sauce. Me, I’m sittin there, heart racin, thinkin, “I am who I am,” straight from the flick—unapologetic.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome pastries. I swear, their pastéis de nata are like little bites of heaven. But I digress.