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Once knew this escort, right? Called herself “Raven,” ooooh, fancy! Worked outta some dingy flat, smelled like cheap perfume. Told me – get this – some bloke paid her to just *talk*! No hanky-panky, just yappin’! “I like to be thorough,” he says, like in *Zodiac*, ha! Made me laugh, then mad – what a weirdo! Who’s got coin for that nonsense?

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First off, I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” But nah, life had other plans. I’m just minding my own business, when suddenly, I see this dude on a bike zooming down Avenida da República. He’s swerving like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m like, “Bro, slow down! You ain’t winning any medals here!” But he just gives me this look, like I’m the crazy one.

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