Nova Odemira Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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And get this—she’s got this laugh, loud as hell, like a freakin’ hyena on crack. Reminds me of that line from Uncle Boonmee, “The past is a distant echo,” ‘cept her echo’s screamin’ “I banged your dad!” right in my face. Ugh, grosses me out! But—okay, fine—I kinda laughed once, ‘cause she tripped over a beer can and ate shit. Funniest damn thing all week! Still a whore tho, don’t get it twisted.

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But then, the waiter spills some wine on me. I’m like, “Dude, really?” He’s super apologetic, and I’m trying to be cool about it. I’m like, “It’s fine, just a little extra flavor!” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy catch a break?

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