Esme Machico Whore ❤️❤️

About Almada

So yeah, whores—legends in my book. Raw, real, takin’ no shit. Next time I’m brewin’ espresso, I’ll toast ‘em. “To life’s weirdos,” as *Toni Erdmann* taught me. Now, where’s my damn apron?

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

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