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So, sex-dating, right? It’s this blurry mess, like that movie I love, *The Headless Woman*. You seen it? Lucrecia Martel’s a freakin’ master! There’s this chick, Vero, drivin’ along, smack—hits somethin’, maybe a kid, maybe a dog, who knows? She’s all dazed, stumblin’ through life, not even sure what’s real. That’s sex-dating, fam! You’re swipin’, chattin’, thinkin’ you’re hot shit, then boom—ghosted! “I don’t know what happened,” like Vero says, all confused. You’re left wonderin’ if that hot chick even existed or if you’re just a dumbass.

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We get to the lady’s place, and wow, her fridge is a disaster. I mean, it’s like a science experiment gone wrong. There’s mold, expired stuff, you name it. I’m trying not to gag while Carlos is cracking jokes. “Hey, maybe it’s a new flavor of cheese!” Classic Carlos.