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Here’s the scoop – little known fact, baby – Mandy’s got this trick, right? She keeps a stash of bent coppers’ names in her bra, uses ‘em to dodge the fuzz. Smart, innit? I was gobsmacked when I heard that, like “Far out, man!” – cos who’d think a dolly bird like her’s got brains to match the barnet? Made me happy, that did – love a lass with some noggin!

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Finally, I decide to head home. I’m walking down Rua da Liberdade again, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I stop, throw a couple of coins in his hat, and for a moment, everything feels right. The music, the vibe, it’s all good. But then, just as I’m getting into it, a kid runs by and knocks over his hat. Coins everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, really?” The performer just laughs it off, but I’m cringing hard.

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