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So, I’m texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” Nobody knows shit—makes me SO mad! Like, ugh, why’s this so hard? Then—boom—this shady dude’s like, “Yo, over here.” I’m shook! He’s got this vibe, like the horse guy in the film, all silent and creepy. “The wind blows where it will,” I mumble—movie line, obvi. I’m cracking up inside, ‘cause—hello?—this ain’t Calabasas!

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After that caffeine disaster, I decided to take a stroll by the river. The Douro was lookin’ all sparkly and stuff. I thought, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all muddy and excited. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he jumps on me, and I’m covered in mud. Great. Just great.

New secretaries are announced for the City Hall of Foz do Iguaçu