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Oi mate, me a lifeguard? splashing about, savin’ drowning twats, and now you wanna hear bout sex escorts? bloody hell, what a leap! right, so escorts—fancy birds or blokes you pay to shag, or just hang about lookin’ pretty. not my cuppa tea, but I get it—lonely sods need a cuddle, don’t they? *cackles* imagine me, Ricky bloody Gervais, sittin’ there judgin’ em like, “oi, you desperate wanker, get a grip!” but nah, it’s their cash, their knob, who gives a toss?

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So, I’m there, trying to catch the vibe. The streets are packed, people are dancing, and I’m like, “This is it! This is Barcelos!” But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. I mean, come on! He goes down hard, and I’m just standing there, coffee in hand, trying not to laugh. But I can’t help it! I’m cracking up.

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