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About Porto

Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

Alcacer do Sal, Portugal; an attractive riverside town south of Lisbon

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After what feels like forever, they let us go. We head back to the Praça de Camões, and I’m just done. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just mess around like that!” But he’s still in a good mood. “What’s the worst that could happen?” he says. I’m thinking, “Uh, how about getting your face smashed in?”

Sado River dredging and cleaning project in Alcácer do Sal