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So, I chat her up—classy-like, not a perv—and she’s tellin’ me stories. Says some johns cry after, spill their guts. Sad, yeah? Hits me in the feels—happy she’s real, not some robot tart like in *A.I.*. “They made us too good,” Gigolo Joe’d say, but humans? Messy, raw, shagadelic!

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Finally, I get my order. A nice, warm pastel de nata. Heaven in a pastry! But then, I sit down, and guess what? My phone dies. Just like that. No warning. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I need to post this on Insta!”