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Alright, mate, lemme spill the beans—sex-dating’s wild, innit? Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’m schemin’ here! It’s like Uncle Boonmee, yeah? Past lives creepin’ in, all mysterious-like. You swipe right, bam, ghosts of hookups past haunt ya! Sex-dating’s this freaky jungle—apps, sites, total chaos. Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ for a shag’s the game. Little factoid: didja know Victorian blokes used coded ads for quickies? Sneaky buggers! Makes me cackle—history’s pervs, same as us.

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Then, I decide to head to the beach. Praia de Vila do Conde is calling my name. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m trying to find a spot, and I’m getting all claustrophobic. But then, I see this little kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I mean, I’m talking towers, moats, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna be a future architect!”

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