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My fave part? The chaos. You got bots, horn-dogs, and the occasional gem. It’s a circus, and I’m the grumpy ringmaster. Ever try it? You’d see—sex-dating’s a gamble, like bettin’ on who’s the killer in *Zodiac*. Spoiler: it’s always the creep with no bio! Ha! Don’t waste my time with lame pickup lines—gimme somethin’ real or get outta my court!

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Next, I head over to the Mercado Municipal. I love that place! Fresh fish, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing through the stalls, and I spot this amazing bacalhau. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I mean, c’mon! I’m about to lose it. But she’s sweet, so I let it slide. I guess karma’s a thing, right?

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