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About Porto

But here’s the kicker—some blokes think it’s all dodgy, shady parlors and that. Pisses me off! It’s art, mate, not filth—takes skill, trust, a vibe. Surprised me how deep it goes—ain’t just sexy, it’s healin, cosmic even. Like Tony in *Brooklyn* says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” but flip it—erotic-massage makes ya feel home in yer own skin. Ever tried it? Nah, ya probly haven’t, too busy choppin wood or scrollin X. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, galaxies explode, mate!

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After that, I step outside for some fresh air. I walk down to the Praça da República. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and the fountain. I see this old lady feeding pigeons, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right next to me. I’m dodging bird bombs like I’m in a war zone. Seriously, Vila-Nova-da-Barquinha, what’s with the pigeons?

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