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So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?

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Later, I’m on the ground floor, and this kid runs in, all excited. He’s got a balloon, right? And I’m thinkin’, “Aww, cute.” But then, he lets it go. It floats up, up, and away. I’m like, “Nooooo!” The kid’s cryin’, and I’m feelin’ for him. I mean, who hasn’t lost a balloon? It’s a tragedy!

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