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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, head of this damn lab, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that spicy kick, like Lil’ Rocket Man dodgin’ bullets in *City of God*! “I’m gonna kill you all!” – that’s me when some idiot thinks sexual-massage is just a fancy handjob. Nope, it’s an art, dammit! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, tension buildin’ up like Buscapé tryna snap that perfect shot. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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On my way back, I bump into an old buddy. We start chatting, and he tells me about this hidden spot near the Moorish Castle. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” So, we decide to check it out. We hike up this steep path, and I’m dying. I’m not in shape for this. But when we get there? Wow. The view is insane. You can see all of Sintra, the mountains, the ocean in the distance. It’s breathtaking.

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