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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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After that, I stroll down Rua da Igreja. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and old-school vibes. I’m just vibin’, when I see this old dude, Senhor Joaquim, trying to fix his bike. I mean, it’s a total wreck. I’m like, “Need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “I’ve been fixing this for 20 years!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, maybe it’s time to let it go?” But he just grins. Classic Joaquim.

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