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About Porto

So, sexual-massage, man—it’s all ‘bout that slow grind, that tension buildin’ up. Ain’t no quick rub-and-tug nonsense, this is art, yo. Hands slidin’ over skin, oil drippin’, makin’ ya feel like, “The whale is watching us,” like in the movie, ‘cept it’s yo body talkin’. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s primal, gets ya soul hummin’. Little known fact, check this—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this shit for healin’, not just gettin’ freaky. Called it “tantric touch” or some wildness, balancin’ energies, makin’ folks feel whole. Ain’t that dope?

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But wait, it gets better. I decide to grab lunch at that little spot on Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with the amazing bifana? I’m all excited, but guess what? They’re out of bifanas too! What is this, a conspiracy? I settle for a sandwich that’s basically cardboard. I’m not even exaggerating. I’m starving and mad.

THE DIGITAL TRAIN