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About Funchal

So, check it—little-known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Hawaii, kahunas did this sacred rub-down called *lomi lomi*. Wasn’t just for sore muscles, nah, it was spiritual, sensual—like, they’d knead ya ‘til ya felt the *mana* flowin’. Modern sexual-massage? Same vibes, but with a freaky twist! I got this one time, some chick in Waikiki, hands like a goddess, slidin’ everywhere—made me wanna yell, “I’m king of the worl—wait, wrong movie!” Got me so stoked, I tipped her double, swear to God!

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If you want to know where are Glory Holes in São Pedro da Cova and you want to practice sex anonymously and respectfully, here you can find and share places such as public baths, .

Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Watchman in São Pedro da Cova ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of my neighbor’s dog howlin’ like it was auditioning for a horror movie. Seriously, that mutt needs a chill pill.

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