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But happy stuff too, y’know? Some escorts are chill, real pros. Met one – not me, a mate! – said she was funny as hell. Told him ‘bout her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Little known fact: escorts sometimes got codenames. Like spies, innit? One called herself “Duchess” – posh or what? Surprised me, tho, how normal they are. Just folks makin’ a livin’. “We’re all failures, every one of us!” – movie fits perfect here.

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I head back to the mercado, and guess what? The onion thief is gone! I’m fuming. I mean, how hard is it to keep an eye on a guy? I’m about to lose my mind when I get a call about a fight breaking out at the bar on Rua da Alegria.

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