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About Funchal

Fav part? When they linger, tease, no rush. Like Sofia’s film—silence screams louder than words. “Let’s never come here again,” Bill says. Me, I’d return, addicted, fuck it. Costs a ton, tho—100 bucks, easy. Cheap ones? Sketchy, dim rooms, ugh, pass. Putin don’t do low-rent. Little story—heard some dude slipped off table, oil everywhere, hilarious! Laughed my ass off, clumsy bastard.

You’re Temporarily Blocked

First off, I got to the family’s place on Rua da Liberdade. Super chill street, but today? Nah, not so much. The kids were already bouncing off the walls. I mean, like, literally. I walk in, and they’re playing tag, and I’m like, “Guys, chill!” But they just laugh and run past me. Ugh, kids, am I right?

General Cartaxo Alves: “Tenho militares que chegam a pagar 150 mil euros para se desvincularem”