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About Lisbon

Funny thing—dudes think it’s all ‘bout nuttin’. Nah, motherfucker, it’s deeper! You’re unclenchin’ life’s bullshit, one rub at a time. I’m tellin’ ya, next time you’re stressed, get that sexual-massage. Ain’t no shame, just glory. Fuck, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s dope, it’s real, it’s messy like *Amour*. “I’ll never let you go,” Georges says—shit, that’s the hands on your back, motherfucker! Try it, report back—I’m waitin’!

O SPA mais luxuoso do Algarve

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First off, I head to the café on Avenida Magalhães for my usual bica. You know, the one with the best pastéis de nata? I’m all set to enjoy my morning when BAM! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a walking disaster, and the barista, Maria, just laughs. “You need a bib, meu amigo!” she says. Thanks, Maria. Real supportive.

Portugal: The most dangerous road in the country is the IC19 in the Lisbon area.