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About Porto

So, where do ya start? Back in Russia—yeah, I’m a science nomenclature whiz, fancy title, huh?—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s EVERYWHERE. Like, Moscow’s got these secret spots—little known fact, bro! They call ‘em “tochkas,” shady corners where girls just… appear. I’m talkin’ 2 a.m., neon lights flickerin’, sketchy dudes whisperin’. Kinda thrilling, kinda creepy—like, “I need to see this through!” Straight outta Zodiac vibes. Made me happy, that sneaky rush—felt like a spy!

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Anyway, I hop in my combine and head out. The streets are packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m cruisin’ down Avenida da Liberdade, and suddenly, BAM! A pigeon decides to play chicken with me. I swear, that bird had a death wish. I swerved, nearly took out a street vendor selling pastel de nata. Sorry, bro! But hey, I saved the pigeon. So, I’m feelin’ like a hero, right?

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