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Alright, alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s not just a rubdown, y’know? It’s got that *zing*, that extra somethin’-somethin’. I mean, “Mulholland Drive” vibes, right? That movie—mysterious, sexy, confusin’ as hell. Perfect fit for this! Like when Naomi Watts is all, “This is the girl,” but it’s not clear what’s happenin’—same with sexual-massage! Is it therapy? Is it foreplay? Who knows! Pretty, pretty good, though.

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After that, I’m feeling pumped. I head back to my shop, and I’m ready to work. But then, I see this stray cat outside. It’s all scruffy and sad. I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for animals. I take it in, and now I’ve got a new shop mascot. I name him “Furball.”

How Malar, in Divar, will celebrate 'Bonderam' this year