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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know sex-datin’ been around foreva? Back in the ‘60s, they had “computer dating”—no lie! Folks mailed in questionnaires, tryna match up. Now we got AI swipin’ for us—halleluyer, we lazy! I got mad one time, chile, ‘cause this dude on a date said, “I only do Netflix and chill.” I said, “Boy, I ain’t no TV dinner!” Made me wanna smack him upside his head with my purse!

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We duck into a café on Avenida da Liberdade. I order a pastel de nata, because, duh, you can’t visit Portugal without one. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m telling my group, “This is the best thing ever!” And they’re all nodding, like, “Yeah, we get it, it’s a pastry.” But I’m like, “No, you don’t understand! It’s life-changing!”

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