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Oh, and get this—surprised me big time—there’s this underground rule, escorts don’t kiss on the mouth, like some Pretty Woman throwback! Keeps it “professional,” they say—ha! What a riot! Imagine tellin’ that to Bane— “You think darkness is your ally?” Nah, buddy, it’s just business! I’m crackin’ up over here picturin’ it!

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life, but today? Crickets. Just me and a couple of pigeons. I’m thinking, “Where’s the party at?” I grab a bica from my favorite café, O Pão Quente. Best coffee in town, no cap. But the barista? She’s having a rough day too. She spills milk everywhere. I’m like, “Girl, I feel ya!”

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