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So, if you’re dead set on findin’ one, darlin’, keep your wits sharp and your wallet close. Watch for the signs—too much perfume, a wink that’s a lil too quick. And if she quotes *The Return* at ya—“What’s there to talk about?”—well, shoot, you mighta found a keeper! Me, I’m stickin’ to my guitar and a good story—less trouble, more fun, and I don’t gotta dodge no Bubbas in wigs! Y’all take care now, ya hear?

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Then, I get my coffee, and it’s cold. COLD! I’m fuming. I mean, how hard is it to serve a hot drink? I take a sip, and it’s like drinking regret. Ugh. So, I’m about to complain, but then I see this little kid at the next table. He’s got chocolate all over his face, and he’s just grinning like he’s won the lottery. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They get it.