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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, gonna spill some beans bout erotic-massage, yah? Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky, slippery like dat ol’ Llewelyn Moss runnin’ from Anton Chigurh in “No Country for Old Men,” my fave flick, ya know? Picture dis—dim room, candles flickerin’, some dame or fella wit oiled-up hands tryna work yer knots out, but oof, it’s more den dat, ya feel me?

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Finally, I sit down to work, and I’m in the zone. I’m sketching this character, and it’s coming out great. I’m feeling pumped! But then, I spill my drink all over my sketches. NOOO! I’m screaming internally.