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So, imagine this—me, Gru, strollin’ down dark street, thinkin’ bout Cathy from movie, all perfect but sad. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’d say if she saw this! Prostitute pops up—boom, she’s all “Hey, big guy, need a date?” I’m like, nyet, nyet, I got minions for that! But she’s pushy, ya know? Reminds me of Frank in film—trapped, pretendin’. Made me mad—why’s everyone gotta fake it? Grr!

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I get to my raft, and guess what? The damn thing has a leak! Like, really? I just fixed it last week! I’m cursing under my breath, trying to patch it up with some duct tape. Classic raftsman move, right? But hey, it’s Moscavide-e-Portela. We improvise.