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I reckon it’s excitin tho—swappin flirty texts, feelin that rush when someone hot slides in ya DMs. Reminds me of Malik whisperin, “I’m not afraid of you,” all bold-like, takin control. That’s sex-datin at its best—feelin alive, takin risks! But then, y’all, there’s them horror stories—met a gal once who said her Tinder date showed up with his momma! His MOMMA! I bout fell outta my chair laughin—how’s THAT workin for ya, huh? True story, swear on my grandma’s biscuits.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Rua do Comércio. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this old lady haggling over some tomatoes. She’s fierce! I’m talking, “You better give me a discount, or I’m taking my business elsewhere!” I’m cracking up. I mean, who knew tomatoes could be so dramatic?

Portugal ravaged by wildfires – in pictures