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But—get this—some places charge mad dosh! Fifty quid for thirty mins? Robbery! Got me fumin’—I’m no mug! Should be affordable, like a Greggs pasty! Still, when she hit that spot—ooh, mate, I nearly cried, “Everything’s not lost!” like Mia’s mum screamin’. Surprised me how deep it went—not just muscles, but soul, yeah?

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As I’m munching on my pastry, I get a text. It’s my buddy. “Wanna hit up the bar later?” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a heavy day.” But then I think, “Why not?” Life’s too short to be a downer all the time.

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