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So I’m scopin’, right? Empowered as hell, “Slay!”—but half these ads? Sketchy! Found this one spot online—dude, the pics screamed catfish louder than a busted speaker. I’m like, *“Who’s got the power?”*—not me if I fall for that! Then there’s this underground buzz—word of mouth, real secretive. Little known fact: back in the day, Rio’s favelas had coded whistles for hookups. Crazy, right? Made me laugh—imagine me whistlin’ for a date while fixin’ an antenna!

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I was craving a bica, right? So I pop into this little spot, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in Portugal? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw this old dude at the next table. He had this epic mustache, like a wizard or something. Made me laugh. So, I chilled.

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